Have you had breast cancer in the past, or
are you undergoing treatments now? Then SoulCollage™ is a practice
that you will find immensely helpful. Get in touch with the voices inside
of you that have something to say about your cancer. Open yourself to the
gifts they bring you. Free yourself from your fears.
This is the story of my breast cancer journey, and how gluing magazine
pictures onto mat board led me back to my spirit.
In December of 2001, breast cancer was the furthest thing from my mind.
I was busy. I had a loving husband, a nice home, three beautiful stepchildren,
a good job. Then my perfect little world was suddenly turned inside out
and upside down.
A routine, suspicious mammogram. A phone call. Mammogram #2. A stereotactic
core biopsy.
My diagnosis: breast cancer, stage 2, infiltrating, ductal, HER2.
All of the above happened within the fearful, anxious, unbelievable time
span of 7 days. And my life has never been the same.
The next nine months held a most strange quality of disbelief and exhaustion.
It also held two surgeries, four chemotherapy treatments spaced three weeks
apart, and 47 radiation treatments (spaced daily, over the course of 9
weeks).
It's been three years since my life was turned upside down and inside
out…. Three years. My prognosis is very good. I hear this every three
months depending on which doctor my appointment is with: breast surgeon,
medical oncologist, or radiation oncologist.
Three years have passed. I look good. I feel good. And yet nothing has
been able to quiet the storms of fear that threaten to overwhelm me from
time to time. The insidious fear that the breast cancer might return. The
intimidating fear of another potentially deadly diagnosis.
I have meditated and prayed about this. I have talked about it with my
wonderful therapist and with other breast cancer survivors. I have tried
guided imagery, journaling, and art journaling. These have all tempered
the fear to some extent, but only for a very short while.
Then I began practicing SoulCollage™ and my inner dynamics began
to change.
SoulCollage™ is a unique blend of spiritual practice and the fun
of collage. Using our intuition and imagination, we create a deck of collaged
cards where each card reflects a different aspect of who we are. The cards
are then used to assist us to access our own deep wisdom and help us answer
life's questions.
There are four suits in a SoulCollage™ deck: The Committee (the
inner voices in our minds), The Community (the family and friends who love
us), The Companions (animal totems who lend us their energies) and The
Council (archetypes who symbolize major life themes for us).
SoulCollage™ cards are made using magazine images, scissors, a glue
stick, and 5" x 8" pieces of mat board.
It turned out to be the best way for me to deal with the lingering fears
that I was left with after my cancer treatments were over. I listened carefully
inside of me to the voices that had something to say about my breasts,
and my breast cancer, and I made three cards over the course of a few months.
The "voices" I named and then worked with in the coming months
were: I am the one who fears breast cancer returning, I am the one who
survived breast cancer and walked away from it (both of these voices were
Committee members), and I am the one who gave you the courage to survive
breast cancer (an archetype from my Council).
After making the cards, I journaled with them, asking each voice the following
questions: Who are you? What do you have to give me? What do you want from
me? How will I remember?
The entire process of making these SoulCollage™ cards and then dialoguing
with them led me deeper into my feelings about my diagnosis and all that
I had been through on my journey since then. This led me to a very deep
and powerful spiritual healing that is difficult to describe, yet very
real in my life.
Now, when my fears of another cancer diagnosis threaten to consume me,
I simply look at my SoulCollage™ card that honors that voice inside
of me and I acknowledge it. This voice, this fear will always be a part
of me, but I do not have to allow it to control me. I am reminded of this
because I also have the other two cards which speak to me of how I found
the inner strength and courage to take the breast cancer journey.
About the Author
Anne Marie Bennett is a freelance writer and artist. She is a breast cancer
survivor who loves sharing the gift of SoulCollage™ with others.
She lives in Massachusetts with her husband Jeff and two highly cherished
(and spoiled) feline companions named Sasha and Scooter. To see my breast
cancer SoulCollage™ cards and read more about them, please visit:
my SoulCollage breast cancer page.
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